Tuesday, 28 April 2015

Dear diary: dealing with heartbreak

Hearing the words 'I don't love you anymore' is one of the hardest things anyone can say or deal with. You feel numb, sick, don't want to do anything but cry and lie in bed day after day eating crap. No matter how long you are together with someone, it still hurts. I never thought someone could of loved me as much as he did, as I had been screwed over so much in the past. It was scary being in a relationship. I wasn't used to all this love and kindness going around but  it was a  nice change. And now, it's all gone again. I'm on my own. Unhappy again. You feel like you can't go anywhere or do anything because it just reminds you of them.We used to do so much together, adventures, meals, shopping and it was great.  I've never knew what I truly wanted in life, and I guess that was something to do with being anxious a lot of the time. Anxiety has made me a mess, I feel anxious daily, I don't want to get out of routines and comfort zones, and me being this unhappy, had a strain on our relationship. I was always hot and cold. You realise what you had when it's gone. I made him not love me anymore, and that's the hardest thing to deal with.

This situation has made me think a lot. I need to focus on myself. Make something of myself. Work on my happiness and confidence. Work hard. Do things I wouldn't normally do, be grateful for what I have, stop making bad decisions.And to Love myself to be able to love again. Heart break is one of the hardest things people have to go through, You constantly feel numb and think 'no one's going to compare to ____' ,but life does move on, I just have to remember that.

So now is the time to get out of bed and get my act together! (It's 2pm after all!!)

Well said Elizabeth Taylor! source

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