Monday, 5 October 2015


On my commute to and from work, I've been really overthinking every little thing that has happened/or going to happen in my life. Thinking about my past relationship, how i'm still struggling to get over it, how much regret I feel by letting the most important person out of my life. Mistakes I've made with jobs, or friends, or just anything that has happened, good or bad. 

Now is the time to move on and except the fact, I will be on my own. I will have to do a lot more things without a boyfriend, without family and without friends. I have to do things for myself now. 
You come into the world by yourself and you leave exactly the same

I used to be a person that was OK to be by myself. To not rely on others. But right now, I feel alone, like I've not just lost myself, but everyone around me. I feel as if my childhood best friends are slowly fading away. My family is breaking apart and as for me, I'm  miserable, crying mess. 

When you are going through a rough time, so many people tend to say 'I'm always here for you if you need me' But where are they when you actually need them? No where to be found. And then I get told 'You have to get rid of the people that are negative in your life' But then I will have no one because it feels like they all are negative. So it goes in a viscous circle. 

I'm trying to work on myself, my happiness, my relationships with family and friends, Going on holiday on my own, building myself back up again. But I just feel like i'm getting nowhere. What do you do? Just think if this is going round my head in a fifteen minute car journey to work, shows the amount of things that are in my head in a day! 

This post is quite negative for a Monday, Hopefully soon there will be posts that are a little more positive, so for now, Here's some pictures of nature!


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