Tuesday, 28 February 2017

My Acne Journey

Hormones, one thing that everyone has to put up with. Whether it's bad periods, mood swings, bad breakouts, they are awful.

I always had dry, sensitive skin with bad Eczema, my skin would literally flake off and crave moisture. I was in school and having the driest skin which made me feel uncomfortable. It was prom and my mum had bought me my first foundation, way too light, and just absorbed into my skin straight away so I looked a cakey, flaky mess. 

And then I had recently turned 18, I was a bit late to the party where periods were involved and had not long started the process of being a 'woman'. My periods had got so bad sometimes, I decided to go to the doctors. One of my friends had an implant herself and told me how it would really help with my period pains etc. So I tried it as she was getting on so well with it. Three months in, I was a mess, my excessively dry skin had calmed but what was this? Oil?! I started to get lumps under my skin, my hormones raging, shouting at people. crying in hysterics over nothing, and the worst, acne. Sore spots, redness, still a bit of dryness, but more oil. I had just turned eighteen, I wanted to go out partying and not look hideous. People around me used to say I wasn't clean because I had spots but I was washing my face so why was I getting spots? 

I eventually had the implant taken out, and even though I was an emotional person, the mood swings and crying stopped slightly. But every time I looked in the mirror I was ashamed. 

These were the days I was studying makeup at college and then went onto beauty therapy. Having facials seemed to help but the spots were everywhere. In 2015, I got a job in a skin clinic. I learnt so many things about the skin, about different products and their ingredients and really became to love skincare and enjoyed trying to help others around me with their skin and teaching them everything I was learning. I spent most of my wages on products hoping, praying I would get clear skin. I made myself a strict routine, and most importantly taking my makeup off properly. 

I still wasn't happy with my skin, so decided to have some skin treatments at the clinic. I had a few different chemical peels and a treatment called Derma Pen, this was to battle with the scarring after I got rid of most of the spots.  

OK, so the acne had gone, or was on it's way, Hurray! But then there was the scarring. So hard to cover up, so red and angry looking. It still looked like I was spotty when I wasn't.  I know a lot of people that haven't suffered with acne that hardly wash their face, don't moisterise or even have a skin routine and they weren't spotty. I was upset, self conscious and feeling unconfident. Comparing myself to others was the worst thing I could do, but why wasn't everyone else spotty like me? I had a boyfriend and hated taking my makeup off and showing my bare, face with redness everywhere. I was officially insecure and so unhappy. I didn't want anyone to look at me or notice me, I would pile on makeup which didn't help and I was so nervous and anxious that people would stare at my spots. I felt silly. 

Now, it's February 2017, I have never been happier with my skin. I never thought the day would come that I would walk out the house makeup free, maybe not as confident as I should be as I'm still working on that, but grateful. Looking back on my journey, It was hard, I think a lot harder as I was younger, because teenagers get insecure a lot more than adults. I feel like I have grown a lot, grown up a lot even, but learnt to appreciate and be grateful a lot more. Grateful for the journey I went through as I wouldn't be the person I am today without it. You may think I sound silly as we are only talking about skin, but for most people, it's a massive deal. I spent a lot of money trying to figure out what was good for my skin and what wasn't. What treatments, ingredients, products I could use to help. In my eyes the money was nothing, I could look at myself in the mirror and actually stand there and look at myself and I think that was the most important thing. I go on and on about self worth, self love and self care quite a lot recently, but it really is so important. Feel confident in your own skin/body. Because it'll be the only one you have been given. 

My skin will always be a work in progress, but you have to keep going! 


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